Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I came so hard my ears popped.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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