I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
