what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
