Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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