i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i dont even know how to be here
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
