Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize