Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
