Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
