i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
