Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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