Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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