jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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