What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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