ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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