Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize