Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
