There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
