My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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