Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
