You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
