There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So much rum. So many feels.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
