I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
