In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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