she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize