I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
