Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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