lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
