Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
