Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
