is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
