I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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