I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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