i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
