I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize