I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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