WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
