I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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