Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
do nipples grow back?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
