Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
