What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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