I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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