when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
