She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize