SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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