Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
