i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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