The maid of honor just puked.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
