I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
