I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
