Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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