is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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