dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
