Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
