Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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