Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
