Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize