Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
