pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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