He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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