found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
