I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
