i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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