I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
