Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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