Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
