You made me cry and you don't even care
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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