May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
