just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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