and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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