I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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