doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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