Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
