Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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