Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
