My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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