Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
