Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
